A wounded Army veteran and his wife are one among many this summer to commit their lives to God and to building their marriage on the foundation of His Word.
“How is dad?” the children inquired when their mother picked them up from school.
Her answer was important, because it determined how the twin boys entered the house. Would they smile and say hello to their dad? Or would they keep their heads down and slip in unnoticed?
Debbie Gonzalez tried hard to shield her boys from unpleasant situations, like their dad’s unpredictable mood swings. But as the boys grew up, it got harder to hide the truth that his battle wounds, both physical and mental, weren’t healing.
Army Sergeant Raul Gonzalez’s two deployments to Iraq resulted in injuries to his leg and back, a traumatic brain injury, and post-traumatic stress. During one of the coordinated attacks, his injuries were so severe he required a medical evacuation. “Bombs were going off and people were dying around me,” he said.
Raul and Debbie grew closer together during exciting wilderness excursions.
Raul wasn’t prepared for how difficult it would be to return home and adjust to life after the military. He struggled with survivor’s guilt and often withdrew mentally to a “dark place.”
Debbie grieved that the person she fell in love with in high school more than 20 years ago seemed unrecognizable at times. “A completely different person came back [from combat],” she said.
Debbie explained that Raul doled out harsh criticism and unrealistic expectations, stirring up insecurity and anxiety within her. “I felt like I wasn’t good enough,” she said. “As much as I tried, it was never enough.”
The couple knew that continuing to suppress emotions and frustrations would be detrimental to their marriage and their family. They were desperate for their lives to change, but they had no idea where to turn for help.
“We hadn’t talked to anybody about the issues we had. We just kept it to ourselves,” Debbie said. “We were both feeling broken. We were exhausted.”
Hearts Filled
Debbie and Raul were thrilled when they found out that they had been accepted to Operation Heal Our Patriots, the Samaritan’s Purse ministry to wounded military personnel and their spouses. They were hopeful that their week of Biblically based marriage enrichment in Alaska would set them on the path toward a brighter future.
“A few years ago, I would not have even entertained the thought of applying. My mindset, and my heart, weren’t there,” Raul said. “This year, I came with my heart wide open.”
The couple enjoyed kayaking on beautiful Lake Clark.
God blessed Raul and Debbie’s willingness to seek Him and His purpose for their lives. They learned tools in the marriage classes to help strengthen their relationship, such as how to more effectively communicate and resolve conflict.
Most importantly, they heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ. After spending time with our chaplains, who showed them in Scripture what it means to trust in God’s Son for eternal salvation, they both prayed to receive Christ as Savior.
“I came here with a blank sheet of paper,” Raul said. “God has added so much color to my blank sheet.”
Debbie said that she had never surrendered everything to Jesus. In Alaska, she decided she was ready, for the first time, to make Him Lord of her life.
Debbie and Raul were both baptized at the end of the week in Lake Clark. Debbie was in tears after her baptism, embracing her husband in a big hug and thanking the Lord.
Debbie and Raul rejoice after being baptized.
Raul said his baptism demonstrated his willingness to “lose the person I was in the past and become a righteous person in Christ.” He came up out of the waters and joyfully and triumphantly threw his hands in the air and declared “I’m a new man!”
Relationships Restored
The couple also participated in a marriage rededication ceremony led by one of our chaplains. They had decided early in the week that this was an important step for the health of their relationship. “Together, we are surrendering our marriage to God,” Debbie said.
They wrote their own vows, expressing their commitment to honor and serve their Savior Jesus Christ as well as each other. “I promise to be faithful and loving to you, and to be a man who loves God,” Raul pledged to his bride.
Raul and Debbie participated in a marriage rededication ceremony at the end of the week.
For Raul and Debbie, Alaska is only the beginning of their new start. Family Care, the year-round, lifetime component of the Operation Heal Our Patriots program, ensures that all Alaska alumni receive ongoing encouragement and support from a regional chaplain. They’ll also have opportunities to attend special events like Fortify Your Marriage weekends.
The couple said that knowing they aren’t alone, and that they can reach out to a chaplain when they’re struggling, will be life-changing. They’ve never had anyone they trusted enough with their deepest pain. And, when people offered advice, it usually came from a worldly perspective that was often unproductive.
Now, “it’s going to be godly advice we receive,” Raul said. He is excited about pursuing a closer relationship with both God and his wife. He already feels the Lord stirring in his heart to lead his family to serve Him in their community and beyond.
“This week is a stepping stone to something bigger,” he said.
“Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation” (Isaiah 12:3).
Please continue to pray for the 160-plus military couples who are coming to Samaritan Lodge Alaska over the course of 17 weeks this summer season. Pray that the Lord will heal and restore marriages and that many military couples will come to faith in Jesus Christ.
In a special chaplain-led ceremony, Raul affixed a metal bracelet bearing the name of a friend to a wooden post dedicated to honoring the fallen.
